(An edited version of this article was published in July 2021 issue of Vedanta Kesari, a monthly magazine of Sri Ramakrishna Math, published from Chennai.
It was republished in the Jul-Sep 2021 issue of Oneness Magazine of Sree Narayana Guru Cultural Center, Shillong.)
We have many identities. They are often fluid, and we can move from one to the other. Sometimes, we get stuck. When we get stuck, it results in anxiety, anger and sorrow.
The other day, a friend told me, “I got hit by an autorickshaw.” I was shocked. I asked him, “Oh, that would have hurt. I hope it was not too bad.” He replied, “My car got a slight dent on the bumper.” It was then that I realized that my friend was sitting in his car when an autorickshaw hit it. His identity had extended to the car. So, his natural expression was “I got hit.” When we play a musical instrument, ride a vehicle, play a sport with a racket, write with a pen, etc., our identity extends into the instrument. Without this happening, we would not be able to use the instrument fluently. The technique to use the instrument is pushed into our subconscious reflexes by hours and days of practice. We can gain proficiency in using the instrument only after that.
The same applies to using the body also. To walk with two legs, to speak words, to sing at the right pitch, to touch-type on a keyboard – all these need several hundred hours of diligent practice. The body is an instrument into which we need to extend our identity. But often, the problem is that we forget that the identity with the body is a temporary one. Just like wearing glasses when we want to read or wear shoes when we want to go on the road, we “wear” this body to interact with the world of senses outside. We should not lose sight of this reality.
The same applies to relationships too. When we go to a professional conference, we will introduce ourselves as an employee of a particular organization holding a certain designation and responsible for some operations. When we go to a cousin’s wedding, we will introduce ourselves as the cousin of the bride or groom. When we go to an interstate sports meet, we will introduce ourselves as a player of a certain sport from a certain state. All these are identities of the same person. The identity that we take up changes based on the context. If the identity that we are holding on to is out of context, it creates disgust or ridicule. For example, if a person introduces himself as a manager of a company in a cousin’s wedding, it is jarring out of context. Or in a sports meet, if a person introduces himself as the son of the MLA of a certain place, it will cause disgust. Sometimes, people get so stuck to certain identities that they carry it beyond its applicable context.
A healthy human being is one who can keep shifting his identities easily and smoothly from one context to another without any irrelevant identity sticking to him. He can play the role of a father, son, cousin, employee, manager, citizen, neighbor, follower of a certain religion, etc. without any identity interfering with any other identity. The same holds good of identity with the body, gender, sensations, emotions, and intellectual capabilities. A person should not be stuck with his gender identity where not needed. Similarly, a person should not look at the other person based on his gender identity beyond the context where it is needed. For example, when driving on the road, the gender of the driver of another car or scooter is of no consequence. The same holds good with classmates, coworkers, neighbors or strangers. Similarly, the financial status of a classmate is of no consequence in a class. The intellectual capacity of a cousin is of no consequence. Giving any value to characteristics that are not of any consequence in a given context is a case of mistaken identity.
All psychological disturbances like lust, greed, anger, jealousy, arrogance, sorrow, fear, anxiety, etc. can be traced to identities that are stuck out of context.
Now, how can we learn to glide smoothly from one identity to another without getting stuck? Though most identities are very contextual, there are some “meta” identities which can be held on to across contexts. By holding on to a suitable meta-identity depending on our temperament, we can ensure that we don’t get stuck with irrelevant identities.
“Seeker of knowledge” is one such identity. In any situation, we can hold on to questions like, “what is the truth?”, “what is permanent?”, “what is real?”, “what can I learn from this?” We need not verbally declare this identity to people outside. It is something we hold onto within. With this position, we can go through all the contexts and experiences in the world, doing our duty in every situation to the best of our knowledge, intelligence, skill, time and energy. We should pay attention to our biases and logical fallacies. We need to keep sifting appearances from truth and transient from permanent. Being ever alert to learn lessons and becoming wiser, we can take the right identity demanded by every situation without getting stuck.
Similarly, “Developer of personality” is another identity. Becoming the perfect person, free from lust, greed, anger, jealousy, arrogance, carelessness, lethargy, etc. can be our goal. Every situation gives an opportunity to identify a defect and work on fixing it by thoroughly understanding the root of the defect. To be able to progress towards a perfect personality, we should also meditate to understand the workings of the mind and the problems within. We should be constantly alert to catch the mind thinking good to appreciate it and catch the mind thinking bad to chastise it. Holding on to this as the goal, we can go through everything in life without getting stuck anywhere.
“Seeker of welfare of others” is another identity. The focus in every situation is to give maximum to the people and situation outside. Initially, we will recognize and acknowledge the moral order in the world. If we do good, we will get good. If we do bad, we will get bad. This will make us do good and avoid bad. Eventually, we will start relying on the system and stop keeping account ourselves. We will understand that if we just keep giving, everything will take care of itself. “Consume as less as possible and contribute as much as possible” will be the guiding principle. This will also help us to not get stuck.
“Devotee of God” is another identity. Initially we will consider God as the giver of everything in our life. We will start with an attitude of gratitude. Then we will realize that God is everything and every action is also for Him only. “Whatever I do is a gift to God and whatever happens in life is a gift from God” will be the guiding principle. It is God alone who has become this world and all the living beings. Every experience or expression is an interaction with God alone. There is nothing that exists other than God. This identity will also help not to get stuck.
The path of holding on to the four meta-identities mentioned above are respectively called Jnana Yoga (Path of Knowledge), Raja Yoga (Path of Mind culture), Karma Yoga (Path of Action) and Bhakti Yoga (Path of Devotion) in Vedanta.
By following these paths individually or in any combination, we can free ourselves from the bondage of particular identities. When we have matured on that, we can introspect within ourselves on the question, “What is my identity in the absence of any context? Who am I in reality, independent of the worldly relations, body, sensations, emotions, intellect, memory and freewill?” This first-hand intuitive knowledge of our real identity, which is the permanent context-independent background of all the other transient context-based identities, will make us free from all anxiety and sorrow. This is called Moksha (freedom). This is the goal of life.